


Closed Doors (Awful Energy)

by smileyqueen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, F/M, Other pairings to be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-26
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-05 04:59:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11006499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smileyqueen/pseuds/smileyqueen
Summary: Cecilia Nott is not a model Slytherin, at least not on the inside. She does not believe in pureblood supremacy, nor does she hate Gryffindors (specifically Harry Potter). But she did not foresee falling in love with a Weasley of all people (her father already had arranged a marriage partner for her), betraying her family, her friends and losing everything she had worked for.





	1. Control

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies, my name is Kristina and this is my first serious fanfiction in English.  
> Please mind that I'm not a native speaker, so if you find any mistakes please let me know! (My major is English, so I'm always willing to learn). 
> 
> I'm aiming to release a chapter every week or every two weeks, depending on my University schedule.
> 
> Now I'm gonna stop the rambling, and let you read!

Cecilia Nott was not what you would call a model Slytherin. In fact, she was sure she never was. Her father’s pride over their family name and their allegiance to the Dark Lord, had always seemed too obsessive to her. She didn’t like the parties hosted by them or the Malfoys and she definitely did not like having to dance with Draco, even if she considers him her only friend (excluding her brother Theodore).

  
It wasn’t like she hated being a Slytherin. Hell, something deep inside of her loved the attention, it fed of the negative comments and insults thrown at her (mostly by Griffyndors), she liked how people seemed to shrink out of fear when she walked by, even if it was solely based on her family’s name and its reputation. Well, her father’s reputation, that is. The only thing she hated was that she couldn’t speak her mind – these supremacists’ ideas just seemed completely ridiculous to her – so she won’t end up dead or worse being tortured.

  
Her silver hair and her blazing blue eyes made her seem innocent (or too beautiful to be considered evil), but she had learned from the day she was born to not show weakness and to walk around with an aura of confidence surrounding her.  
Unfortunately all of that seemed to fade away when she looked at Fred Weasley, or rather when he looked at her. Damn him and his stupid grin, his stupid red hair and his stupid freckles, which made her knees go weak. Every time that happened she pulled her poker face and tried not to shiver and she definitely did not imagine how his lips would feel on hers.  
The only male she had ever kissed was Draco, and that was only because they both were curious children and he was 11, Cecilia 13 and he had asked how it would feel. He had just assumed she knew the answer because she was two years older.

  
Well now she was 16 and besides some flirting with Blaise – which never went anywhere because Blaise was a player and Cecilia was not going to humiliate herself by falling for him, especially because he was younger – she kept away from boys and kept up her grades. Besides, her father probably already had a candidate he wanted her to marry. When the time for that came, she would surely flee; maybe marry Draco so none of them would be bound to a stupid marriage contract. The only problem with that was that they were probably related, but then again it would be a scam and for pureblood society it would not be a problem.

  
Her plan was rock solid but for some ungodly reason Fred Weasley had decided to mess with it. The only distraction was the arrival from students from Beauxbatons and Durmstrang, latter even sat at the Slytherin table and many had tried asking her out, which always resulted in rejection. Cecilia tried to push away the wanting of Fred asking her out, which would never ever happen. If her father found out, she was dead. She knew he was cruel to the bone and would not tolerate such betrayal.  
The Weasley twin would certainly not be too shy. However, he probably only wanted to tease her, to get some kind of reaction out of her.  
Well, _he could wait forever if that was the case_ , Cecilia decided while sitting at lunch, staring at her food. She felt his burning gaze, but she would not – under no circumstance – give in and look at him.

  
“I wish you could enter, Cecily”, Draco suddenly commented beside her. She rolled her eyes at her nickname and then looked up.  
“You only want that because people associate you with me”, she said grinning at his bad poker face. He could certainly still learn from her.

“I want to focus on my studies… Also have you forgotten that as a female pureblood it is my duty to marry and produce an heir, not to excel at magic?” she mocked him, adopting the tone of her father’s voice.

  
“I think you’re just afraid”, Blaise decided to remark and Cecilia’s brother Theo agreed.

  
”Traitor”, she mouthed at him but he didn’t seem the least amount ashamed. And her father always said she was the one who had to learn manners. It was a miracle the Malfoys still let her hang out with Draco. But then again, they liked their façade of perfection.

Admitting that she was not fit to hang out with their son, would include admitting they failed.  
“Anyways, my schedule is so full this year that I don’t really care about some tournament, that none of us can participate in, by the way.”

  
“But father said it is one the highest honor anyone could receive”, Draco said with this prideful tone, he always adopted when talking about his father. She really didn’t see the reason why Lucius Malfoy was so great. Well, except his hair, perhaps. But since Cecilia had pretty good hair herself she wasn’t too jealous.

  
“I heard the Weasley twins brewed Aging Potion to get around the circle”, Daphne gossiped three seats away from Cecilia. Her stomach twisted, as she was reminded of Fred’s existence and that she had Defense against the Dark Arts with him and George in about thirty minutes. To top it off, their teacher was an ex-auror, who obviously hated Cecilia and everything her surname stood for. Not that she could blame him, but she was not her father and had never been as cruel and twisted as him. And she believed that everyone could be attracted to dark magic.

  
“Well you can continue to bicker if you want, but I’ve got to go to DADA with the idiot Gryffindors”, Cecilia said and took one more sip of her pumpkin juice.

  
“Have fun.”

  
“Don’t get hit by a nasty spell”, Theo added. Cecilia rolled her eyes. How many times would she have to prove how much more powerful she was.

  
“Don’t worry, but maybe you should get hit with one”, she teased and then proceeded to take her bag and walk out of the Great Hall.

  
“I won’t forget that.”  
“Brat”, Cecilia muttered. Her younger brother had always been that annoying. _Maybe he learnt that from Draco_ , she mused.

  
On her way to the classroom Cecilia wondered once again how to shield herself from Mad-Eye Moody’s insults this time. She usually just kept her perfect poker face on, but she had to admit, she was growing tired of acting like everything was okay. At some point she would give in to the anger boiling in her veins, whenever she was insulted. She knew that from experience. She had been a rather impulsive child, this was only intensified by her mother’s death when she had been six-year-old. Only in her first year at Hogwarts had she learned to keep it under control. Since then she had never publicly lost her nerve. Her moments of weakness were always behind closed doors, when she was sure no one was watching. She could not let her reputation waver.

  
“Wait up, Cecilia”, someone screamed behind her and made Cecilia stop her thinking.

  
It was the voice of Uchi Akimbo. He had made it his mission to make her his friend since their first year, but never succeeded. Much like Draco and Theodore she preferred to stay on her own. She didn’t want or could let people in, so making friends was unnecessary and besides, she didn’t want anyone to find out that she wasn’t a pureblood supremacist.  
She didn’t turn around and kept walking at a steady pace. She wished for the solace of an empty classroom. For that to happen, she had to get rid of Uchi, who was probably the most obnoxious person in Slytherin. Even more so than Blaise.

  
“Come on, don’t be so _bitchy_ ”, he said right as they entered the classroom, which unfortunately was already filled with various Gryffindors, who had stopped their gossiping and now stared at Uchi and her. Well, it was time to give them a show.  
She turned around swiftly, while flicking her hair and stared him down, with her best ice queen impression.

  
“What did you just call me?” a threatening low tone accompanied her question, one which rivaled her father’s. She had learnt from the right person, after all.  
Uchi froze in his tracks and stared at her. He seemed to realise what he had said and Cecilia could tell that his thoughts were racing.  
_At least he has decency to look scared_ , she mused and almost smiled at her acting capabilities. But that would ruin her image, so she continued pressing her lips together like she was about to burst.

  
“Uhm…”, he stuttered and Cecilia raised an eyebrow.

  
“How pathetic. Do you not feel the need to apologize? ”, she voiced and was pleased that the Gryffindor’s were still watching this spectacle.

  
Cecilia wanted to hex him but she decided to that later in the safety of their Common Room, where people’s loyalties lay with her and Akimbo had no one to protect him.

  
“Fortunately for you, there are witnesses in this room. But do not dare to address me like that again or you will end up in the Hospital Wing”, she angrily let past her lips and then proceeded to sit down on her usual spot, where no one would bother her.

Unfortunately the Weasley Twins sat on the bench right beside her. She looked at them for a split second and Fred actually had the nerve to wink at her. She scowled at him and then turned around to face Akimbo for the last time.

  
“Don’t forget my _name_ ”, she simply said and watched with delight as he paled.  
After all, _names_ meant everything in Slytherin House.

 


	2. Overture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since my schedule was not overly full this weekend, (It was too hot here to do anything, really) I present you the second chapter. 
> 
> Have a great day (or evening, depending on where you live).

Her mood was on a low point, as their teacher Professor Moody entered the room. She had just spent fifteen minutes scrambling nonsense on her paper, avoiding looking Fred in the eye and thinking about possible counter spells, in case Moody decided to also attack her with spells. It was not very likely but you never knew.

  
Only a fellow Slytherin called Timothy had gathered the courage to sit next to her.

She didn’t even know his surname, but she found that she didn’t particularly care. Cecilia didn’t like company during her lessons – she rather wanted to concentrate, so shewould actually learn something – but Timothy didn’t try to make conservation.

“And finally we turn to the Imperius Curse and how to resist it.”  
For the first time in the lesson Cecilia raised her head in silent interest. That could be interesting. _A chance to show off my skills and make people even more afraid of me_ , she thought amused. Maybe Fred would finally leave her alone then. But she would have to do this without making herself suspicious. She had to show some kind of struggle. And an Imperius casted by Moody would certainly be more difficult to resist. A challenge it was, then! Maybe she would even gain points for her effort.

“Now does anyone know how someone can resist such a dangerous curse?” Moody asked with a smirk that seemed to indicate that he knew exactly who could resist it.

  
“It takes great will power but there are not many people, who are able to summon such strength”, Timothy answered in a low tone, that almost resembled hers.It made her wonder if he possessed the same skills; she had trained so hard for them, when it came to the Imperius Curse.

  
“Correct.”  
“Now the Ministry would highly disagree on testing this curse on students...” adrenaline started rushing through Cecilia’s veins. She hadn’t been wrong in her assumption!

  
“But I say different! All of you need to be ready to resist such evil”, he concluded. Cecilia could not hide her smirk, of course it did not stay hidden from Professor Moody.

  
“Is there something you’d like to tell us, Miss Nott?”

Cecilia rolled her eyes and just shook her head. She was not out to fight.

 

“Well, then. I would ask you to be the first one to try resisting the Imperius Curse”, he calmly said. Some took sharp breaths. It seemed like even the Gryffindors were afraid of what was to come. Their bravery - that they prided themselves with – lost.  
Cecilia took a deep breath, readying herself for the task that lay before her. It was time to show them how much power she truly had gained in the last five years.

  
“Show them, Nott”, Timothy whispered beside her, an amused grin on his face. Cecilia narrowed her eyes. When this lesson was over she would ask Draco about Timothy. She needed to know his family history and his grades, and why he seemed so bloody sure about everything.

  
“With great pleasure”, she whispered back, simply needing to have the last word.

  
“Alright”, she said to Professor Moody and stood up to meet his challenge. She closed her eyes for a mere second to gather her strength and then nodded.

  
“Attention, everyone! You are about to see one of the many damages a spell like this can cause!” Professor Moody almost screamed. Cecilia was unbothered; she was already in her zone.

  
“Imperius!”, he proclaimed and Cecilia saw a light approaching her face from the corner of her eye.

  
_Tell me your darkest secret!_

  
Cecilia moved her head, trying to escape the voice. A natural reaction out of fear, how her father always called it. It was unimportant to analyze that. She had to stay focused on the parts to come. She could feel her mouth starting to open. It was time to strike!

  
_Good. Now do as I told you._

  
Tension made its way through her body, her muscles tightened. Her hands started to shake and she gripped the wooden table to her left, where the Weasleys sat, so they would not bother her.

  
_Tell me your darkest secret! And it will all be over!_

  
She could feel her mouth opening wider and knew that if she did not do something against it now, it would be over. So she gathered all of her mental strength and pushed. She had to get the voice out of her head, and she would win. Her teeth chattered and there was blood on her hands from how hard she was gripping the table.

  
_You cannot win, girl. Give it up!_

  
_Get out of my head_ , she screamed internally and successfully pushed the voice out of her head.  
Out of breath and feeling incredibly nauseous she came back to the real world. Opening her eyes and letting go of the table, she could feel herself starting to fade.  
_Not now_ , she thought. _Not after I fought so hard to get him out of my head!_

  
She had used up all of her strength fighting the bloody Imperius Curse, that her body refused to work anymore. She opened up her eyes once more and grinned at Professor Moody, who even seemed a bit surprised.

  
“I won, Professor”, she whispered and then blacked out.

 

 

  
She could feel someone’s hand on her back as she regained conscience. Panic rose in her and yanked herself out of its grip, and then she opened up her eyes and found herself back in the classroom. Her hands burnt, her muscles ached and her vision was blurry but she was determined to remain standing. Her pride would not be tarnished, not like this.

  
“I see you are with us once again, Miss Nott”, Professor Moody declared, while sounding somewhat astonished.

  
“I guess I’m the first student to resist such a spell casted by you.”

  
“Correct, Miss Nott. Considering your effort, I award you fifty points for Slytherin.”

  
“That’s… quite a lot”, Cecilia commented, too tired to think about something wittier.

  
“It is. Now you should let yourself be taken to the Hospital Wing”, he grumbled and then turned around to write something on the board. She turned around too and stared right in Fred Weasley’s face. She stiffened. He shouldn’t look at her like he was worried, especially not now when her guard was down and she couldn’t defend herself. She tried to will herself to look away but her body wouldn’t cooperate.

 

 

  
“I can help you, Cecilia”, a voice called out from afar. It was Uchi. She wanted to scowl at him, throw insults at him but she was simply too drained.

  
“I don’t think she likes you, man”, Fred cut him off and then she heard the laughter coming from the other Gryffindors. Anger made its way through her body; she would not be humiliated after just having shown how much power she possessed.

  
“I can speak for myself”, she said quietly, but still with an authorative undertone.

  
“You don’t look like you can.”

  
“Stop the bickering! Weasley – the left one – take Miss Nott to the Hospital Wing!”, Professor Moody ordered to Cecilia’s horror.

  
“Do not say anything or I’ll crush you”, she threatened Fred and walked slowly out of the class ahead of him.

 

Almost directly after she had passed through the door, another dizzy spell hit her and she was barely able to stay on her feet. Until Fred stopped her from falling, by grabbing her arms. She leaned into his touch, only to steady herself, obviously.

 

  
“You seem really out of it, Nott”, Fred commented, now sounding concerned again.

  
“I thought I told you not to say anything”, she remarked weakly.

  
“What can I say? I never listen”, he grinned at her but she only scowled. Those Gryffindor idiots did nothing but smile all day, it was annoying.

  
“Obviously. Now, take me to the Hospital Wing or leave.”


	3. Fixation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the third chapter, it is mainly to establish the base of what is to come. Also Cecilia is very annoyed in this chapter.
> 
> Thanks for the Kudos! I would very much like to hear your comments though, so don't be shy, I won't hex you ;D
> 
> Have a good day.

Even though she still felt weak and nauseous, Cecilia insisted on walking without assistance. Fred kept close by but whenever he made an attempt to help her as she wobbled she would give him her best death stare, one that she had learned from early childhood on. She had already allowed herself two moments of weakness today, there wouldn’t be another. Weasley would soon forget how weak she had been after fighting Imperius Curse but would remember that she successfully fought it.

She only hoped the Gryffindors wouldn’t gossip too much, at least so her fellow Slytherins wouldn’t hear it. Jealousy was dangerous, after all. And Cecilia had her suspicions on what was to come. The attack on the Quidditch World Cup Final certainly had not come out of nowhere, and her father and Lucius Malfoy behaved rather strange these days.

  
“We are here, Nott. You can stop daydreaming”, Weasleys voice brought her back to the real world and she found herself in front of the Hospital Wing.

  
“You can go now”, she said dismissively. He laughed loudly and Cecilia sneered. How dare he laugh at her! Rage filled her once again and she wanted only for him to finally leave, so she could start building her defense walls again.

  
“I don’t take orders from anyone”, he said grinning. Maybe theydid have something in common, even if it just was their disregard of rules.  
“And I always get what I want”, she said.

  
He raised an eyebrow. She usually wasn’t bothered by such behaviour, but now it irritated her.

  
“I’m going to go now”, she simply said and walked into the Hospital.  
Madam Pomfrey immediately walked over to her, a concerned look on her face.

  
_Wonderful._

  
“What is wrong, dear?”, she asked and led Cecilia to a seat nearby.  
“None of your concern. Just please heal it, and I can go on with my day.”

  
Madam Pomfrey continued to smile and healed Cecilia’s wounds quickly. She wanted her to stay for an hour due to her dizziness. Under no circumstance would Cecilia do that, people would find out that she had spent a significant amount in the Hospital Wing, and she could not let her authority be challenged because of such a silly thing.

 

So Cecilia spent the rest of the day trying not to look too tired. Thankfully she only had two more classes.

Afterwards she walked directly to the Common Room to find some time to relax.

Almost everyone was in the Great Hall to eat supper, so she brought her bag back to her room and then sat down on the black couch, facing away from the door, and closed her eyes. Only to open them when Draco barged into the room so loud that no one would have missed him.

 

“What is going on with you?”, she asked, shaking her head. He was so irritating sometimes, and totally self-aware of it, which made his behaviour even worse.

  
“I forgot to write to father”, he simply said and then rushed to the boys’ dormitory.

  
Cecilia sighed and then stood up to get her books to do some homework; she would not be able to get back into the zone, now that Draco had tarnished it.

  
Draco stumbled down the stairs not long after her and sat down beside her.

  
While watching him write on the parchment, she was suddenly reminded of what she had wanted to ask him since DADA this morning.

  
“What do you know about Timothy in my year?”, she asked bluntly. Draco only raised an eyebrow, and did not look up from his paper.  
“Nothing, interesting. His family is certainly rich, but they aren’t part of the sacred families.”

  
_Why is he so damn powerful, then? And how does he know so much about me and my capabilities?_

  
“Do you think I’m too... showy? Is it possible to know how powerful I really am, without getting to know me?”, she asked him uncomfortably. She did not want to show weakness. But if she were to talk to anyone about this, it was Draco.

  
Draco looked up from his parchment wearing a sceptical look. He seemed to think about her questions and then finally answered after looking at her for a short while.

  
“No. It’s probably just the way you constantly command people to do your bidding, and that’s why they are afraid of you and your capabilities.”

  
“That seems logical.”

  
“So what happened?”, he asked chewing on his quill. Cecilia rolled her eyes. No one would believe her if she told them that Draco Malfoy did something as mundane as chewing on his quill.

  
“Huh”, she feigned ignorance. He really did not need to know about the incident in DADA, more particularly that Fred Weasley had escorted her to the Hospital Wing.  
Draco rolled his eyes and crossed his legs. He probably possessed more elegance than any other female in the castle, well except the ones from Beauxbatons.

  
“Don’t play dumb, it doesn’t suit you”, he scolded her.

  
“Maybe I don’t want you to know what happened”, she said then and almost regretted it. Cecilia did not like keeping secrets from him. Well, except that one where she didn’t agree with his views on pureblood society.

  
“Mhm. I’m going to find out anyway”, he said and concentrated on his letter again.

  
“Trust me, I know”, she said sighing and then picked up her Charms book to study. Next year was going to be her last year and her final examinations were already looming over her head with a dark cloud. 

 

Cecilia spent roughly an hour studying, during which Draco had went away to give his owl the letter to his father and had come back to do his homework, while she had been testing out various spells. He had abstained from his usual commentary of her actions and had stared at his books like he could absorb all information that way. Cecilia had simply rolled her eyes at his tactic, knowing that there was no way he would remember what he had tried to study.  
Afterwards she went to bed with an empty stomach. It was not comfortable but she would not strive the halls at night looking for food. It’d be a rather dumb reason.

When she woke up the next morning, her head was pounding so hard that she was convinced she would not be able to stand up. It took her about thirty minutes to stand up and that was only because she wanted to avoid gossip about her health.  
She forced herself to apply a minimum of make-up so her tiredness would be invisible. Even though Madam Pomfrey had healed all her physical wounds, she was still mentally tired. At least it was a Saturday today, so there were no classes to bother her and most importantly, she would be able to escape Fred Weasley, who she had way too many classes with.

  
With a little more energy she left the Common Room and walked in the direction of the Great Hall to get her breakfast. She would not survive the day without it.  
Unfortunately for her and her mood someone caught up with her right as she was about to descend the last case of stairs.

  
“Still breathing, Nott?”, the arrogant voice of Timothy bounced off the walls and Cecilia felt the urge to throw him down the stairs.  
 _Not too elegant for a pureblood lady like you_ , she thought.

  
“Of course, what did you expect?”, she mocked and started walking down the stairs. Timothy wasn’t going to keep her away from her long awaited breakfast.  
“I knew you’d be able to resist the curse but I must admit I was surprised at which ease it seemed to come.”

  
She whirled around, snarling at him.

  
“If you’re here to make fun of me, I have to kindly remind you that I can be very angry if I don’t get my breakfast.”  
He chuckled lowly: “Every time I attempt to break the curse, I take away more significant wounds than you did.”

  
Cecilia resisted the temptation to ask him what he was talking about and why he was sharing this information with her.                                                                                    She could not lose her face. It also was too early to get into a fight this early. So she just huffed and walked away. Surprisingly he made no attempt to talk to her again. Good for him. 

 

Breakfast went by without anything interesting happening. Draco kept talking about making bets with his father who was going to win the tournament, when they didn’t even know the participants and Theodore needed her help with his Charms homework. She begrudgingly helped him, despite being in a bad mood.

 

  
Afterwards she went to the library to do her homework in peace. She liked to study on her own, without any distractions. Like the weekend parties that Blaise somehow managed to organise. They were her personal nightmare. Occasionally it was fun to watch people be drunk but since she never really drank anything – to not blurb out her secret – she did not enjoy them.

  
She was deep into her thoughts whena voice called her name rather bluntly. She rolled her eyes, looked if anyone was watching, found that she was indeed alone and then stood up to investigate. She walked along the bookcases and found Fred Weasley standing behind the one to her left, grinning at her.

  
“Do you think an Aging Potion is going to work?”, he asked her. Cecilia gaped at him and thought about hitting him with the book in her hands. How the hell could he believe something so dumb would work? And why the hell was he talking to her about it? Couldn’t he ask someone like Granger, who seemed to know everything about everything and who wasn't a Slytherin?

  
“Why are you asking me?”, she snarled through clenched teeth and fixated him with her deep blue eyes. She hoped they looked at least a bit intimidating.  
He shrugged but his big smile did not fade.

  
“There was no one better around to ask”, he said only deepening her anger. She had only wanted to spend a few hours in complete silence.

  
“So I’m simply a pawn in your game”, she pointed out seemingly indifferent. Inside she was seething though.

  
“No, you’re the queen of course”, he winked at her and Cecilia fell into confusion. One thing was clear: He was flirting with her. But why? He never seemed interested and she was certain she had never dared to give him any reason to. Despite the stunt she had pulled yesterday.

  
She simply snarled at him but remained standing. Her desire of having the last word keeping her rooted to the spot.

  
“Come on, don’t be angry. I made you a rather nice compliment”, he said laughing at his own words. Cecilia decided that this was the right time to hit him with her book so she raised her hands and then made a pathetic attempt to hit him on his right arm. For a moment he stopped laughing, looking confused and she took the chance to escape.

  
“I don’t do compliments, Weasley”, she sneered and then went on her way to get her things and walk to the Great Hall.

 

Only an hour later the Weasley twins triumphantly came running through the door with piles of Aging Potion in their hands. Cecilia simply rolled her eyes and fixated them back on her book. That didn’t last very long because she was too interested if it would work. She was ninety-nine percent sure it wouldn’t but she had seen a lot of miracles happen in her life.

  
George and Fred drank the potion and actually managed to cross over the age line Dumbledore had drawn. They bathed in the applause of all the not-Slytherins and Fred turned around to wink at her once again. She loudly slammed her book shut and got ready to go when she saw how both twins were attacked by the age line and now seemed to have aged quite a bit. She chuckled lowly and exited the hall.

 


	4. Champions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the comment red2013! :)  
> I would like to hear all of your thoughts, so don't be shy. 
> 
> There are also a few sentences in this chapter that indicate quite a lot about Cecilia's life. Let's see if you find them.
> 
> Have a good day!

A few days went by with nothing interesting happening. DADA was much quieter as it usually was. Professor Moody finally left her alone, seemingly still impressed with her. She was thankful that. Fighting the Imperius Curse still left her feeling somewhat empty inside and she would not be attempting any similar experiment anytime soon. Timothy annoyed her to no end simply by just being near her but at least he did not try to speak to her about her powers again. He only seemed to watch her every step but Cecilia was good in ignoring such things.

 

At the evening of the election of the champions, Cecilia sat at the Slytherin table with Daphne Greengrass, who perhaps was her only real female friend. Real friends were rare in times like these were reputations meant more than perhaps ever. Interestingly, all of her friends were two years younger than her and there was not a single person in her year that she would consider a friend.

“Blaise is going to throw a party for the Durmstrang champion”, Daphne told Cecilia and the latter once again rolled her eyes. It seemed that was all she did these days. Everyone had turned considerably more annoying over the summer holidays or maybe she just didn’t have the nerve to tolerate such behaviour anymore.

“Not for the Hogwarts one?”, she asked to keep the conversation going. She already knew the answer, which Daphne probably knew as well.

“It won’t be a Slytherin champion. The other houses could not bear supporting us”, Daphne said with a knowing look in her eyes. Cecilia also thought that the selection could be manipulated to at least some extend. Chaos would break out if the other houses had to support a Slytherin for once. The thought was actually quite amusing.

“I know it would be pretty amusing though. Just imagine them awkwardly clapping or clapping for the Durmstrang one, who they consider as evil.”

“I only hope it’s no one from Gryffindor. The best scenario would be someone from Ravenclaw, at least they are smart”, Daphne said but was interrupted by Dumbledore who stood up and placed himself beside the cup.

The moment of truth was there.

“The Hogwarts Champion is ... Cedric Diggory!” Daphne opened her mouth but no sound came out. “

A Hufflepuff?”, she said almost tearfully and Cecilia had to be strong to not laugh at the sight of her friend who seemed beside herself.

“Could be worse. At least he is handsome, you could try asking him out to the Yule Ball”, Cecilia joked.

“Ha-ha. Watch out, Draco is definitely going to ask you”, Daphne teased her, winking at her and making obscene kissing noises.

“I want to kill you”, Cecilia sneered. “Careful. We don’t want people to think that you’re evil” Daphne joked, fully aware that Cecilia was not evil but rather confident in herself.

Cecilia rolled her eyes: “Draco is two years younger than me. It would be extremely inappropriate.”

Despite that he had been her best friend for a long time, nothing made her want to go with him to the ball. She probably would bully some other handsome guy to go with her. Or maybe she would find a secluded spot and sit there the whole evening drinking alcohol.

“I don’t think he thinks like that”, Daphne said doubtful and Cecilia just stayed silent, not wanting to give Daphne another reason to taunt her or to make her doubt Draco’s affections.

 

“The Durmstrang champion is... Viktor Krum!” Dumbledore shouted and Cecilia grinned at the thought of Blaise’s excitement. The boy was probably already planning how to get the Quidditch Star on his side by shoving his praise down Krum’s throat and mentioning how rich and famous his mother was.

The only thing she had going for her was that she was a serial dater, and that was nothing anyone should ever achieve. At least in Cecilia’s mind.

“Well that is a champion I like to support” Daphne shouted excitedly and Cecilia turned around to see how the other Slytherins took in this new information. As expected they were all clapping enthusiastically. Blaise was scrapping down something on his parchment, probably already making plans for his party and Draco winked at Cecilia in a playful manner, which she only commented with a tired smile. It left him looking a bit disappointed, which made her think about Daphne’s words. But she dismissed the thought almost immediately.

There was no chance that Draco would ask her out, he’d probably choose Pansy. It didn’t bother her but Pansy really was annoying.

“Everyone likes him”, Cecilia said. “I know that, but still. The party will be a full success.” Cecilia shushed Daphne so she could hear who the last champion was. The goblet made a dramatic pause before throwing out the last name.

“The Beauxbatons champion is... Fleur Delacour.” “She seems to have Veela blood” Daphne commented and Cecilia nodded.

“Yeah. Let’s see if she can do more than being pretty”, Cecilia responded condescendingly. Perhaps she was a bit disappointed that she could not compete and make fun of the fact that Hogwarts student would be uncomfortable supporting a Slytherin champion.

“Don’t be so petty, Cecilia. You are really pretty and still a powerful witch” Daphne said sighing. Cecilia did not respond but looked down on the table and thought about what she could today so she would not die of boredom. Sure Blaise would throw his big party later this evening but she was not really a fan of those. Maybe she would just steal a bit of Firewhiskey and then hide somewhere in the castle.

 

Suddenly a gasp went through the hall so she looked up just in time to see that the goblet had thrown out another name.

“What the bloody hell”, she muttered and she frowned in confusion.

“Harry Potter” Dumbledore said and she could not hide a frustrated sigh. Did absolutely everything always have to revolve around this kid? How on earth would she ever capture the school’s attention with Potter in the way? Draco seemed to think the same way as he angrily stared at Dumbledore. Cecilia wondered if he was going to stand up and get his father to clear this mess up.

To Potter’s defence he didn’t look particularly excited either and he walked carefully to the front, while passing by the Hufflepuff table where everyone seemed collectively angry at him for stealing their moment of fame and glory.

Dumbledore and Potter left the hall and every single person in the room looked dumbfounded.

“Well that is an interesting development”, Daphne said.

“Interesting? It’s bloody appalling.”

“Maybe we will have the pleasure of seeing him die in one of the task and we will finally be free of his annoying presence” Daphne figured. Cecilia did not say anything. If the rumours were true, Potter was the only one who could defeat the Dark Lord. Cecilia would have to root for Potter’s survival then. She definitely did not want him to win the tournament though.

“Who is evil now, Greengrass?” Cecilia asked, winking at her friend. Daphne just shook her hand and grinned.

 

A few hours later everyone in the Slytherin Common Room, except Cecilia, was completely drunk. Like always Cecilia shyed away from the alcohol, knowing fully well that she became awfully chatty with alcohol in her blood, which would result in telling everyone her secret of finding blood supremacy absolutely stupid.

“Do you want something to drink?” a Durmstrang student with black hair and deep brown eyes suddenly asked her while she was busy leaning against the wall and watching everyone be ridiculous.

“No, thank you” she said in restraint politeness and turned her back on him.

“You look, what do you say.... uhm lonely” he commented, not knowing better.

“I am not lonely” she growled in her best indimitating tone and walked away towards the table besides the door and grabbed one of the bottles of Firewhiskey.

Then she made a quick exit through the door and found herself in the dark corridor. “Lumos” she muttered and her wand lit up in order for her to see where she was going. Fortunately there was still an hour left until the curfew and so she made her way to the stairs. After she had walked a good ten minute distance, she arrived at the floor leading up to the Entrance Hall, from where she could go outside.There was no one to be seen, so she took her time and eventually walked towards the Quidditch Field and sat down on the stands.

Even though it was late summer she still shivered a bit, since the wind was blowing in her face and her hair was going crazy.

She sighed and drank quite a bit of the Firewhiskey in just one sip. She smiled at the familiar burn in her throat.

The only difference being that it wasn‘t coming from screaming her throat raw. She enjoyed only hearing the sound of the blowing wind and it made her feel quite peaceful. Finally she had found a moment where she could be just herself, where she didn’t have to put on a mask of indifference and arrogance, in order to stay loved and alive.The first motivation being utterly selfish.

“Seems like a weird place for a Slytherin, right?” a voice suddenly appeared behind her.

Cecilia could not hide her shock. “Are you harassing me now?” she asked and then turned around to stare into Fred Weasley’s face.

He shrugged his shoulders and only smiled innocently:“I only wanted to ask if you were fine.”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Honestly, couldn’t this boy just leave and let her be alone with her thoughts for just a minute? _Maybe I shouldn’t have asked him a question then_ , she thought but kept looking ahead.

“You seem exhausted since it happened” he answered and Cecilia almost gave in. It surprised her that someone like Weasley had figured out how she felt.

She thought that she had played her role perfectly. Not even Draco had noticed something off and he knew her the best out of anyone. Cecilia didn’t answer and just took another sip out of the bottle. If Weasley planned to interrogate her, she would only survive it if she wasn’t sober.

Since she didn’t drink that often she felt the effect of the alcohol almost immediately.

“I’m used to it” she admitted with closed eyes, not thinking or caring about what she was saying. The Firewhiskey had done its job successfully.

“Used to what?” Fred asked confused. Slowly it sank in what she had just admitted and she opened her eyes in panic. Why did she let her guard down and almost told him what was regularly going on in her home life.

“Nothing... it’s none of your business” she whispered, took the bottle and fled from the scene.


End file.
